Dear Mr Torso. Thanks for your email. And, also, for the attached pictures of your naked torso. It's a shame you seem to be missing a head...in all seven of your pictures. I sincerely hope it's nothing permanent. Here's what you need to know about me: I can't abide lol-ers, men who insist on sending topless pictures, and, in agreement with the illustrious Pamela Anderson in celluloid classic Barb Wire, anyone calling me 'babe'. As for having an attitude, clearly you've never read any of my replies before. Enjoy. Yours, insincerely.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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