From Mr Peculiar

Dear Woman,

Who's there knock knock dr leg

I like cats they are quite nice.. Do you like soup?

really liked your little write up you did and you look pretty
in the pic..
can I get you anything?

Tea?
Coffee?

10 shots of Tequila and a Blue Lagoon?

I imagine you get a fair bit of mail from all sorts of guys.
if you want a guy who can promise to make you laugh feel free to
drop me a line,

if not good luck with your search

Yours Sincerely

Mr Peculiar

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Dear Mr Peculiar. Err...thanks for your email? I know you've promised to make me laugh, and don't get me wrong, you have, but in a very awkward 'ha ha ha is this guy on crack, will he try and murder me with a spoon and then wear my flesh as a dress' type of way. So on that note, I'll bid you farewell. Good luck with your search, there'll be some cat-owning, Blue Lagoon-loving, crack-dealing lady out there with your name on her somewhere, but that's probably because you've already Sharpied her when she wasn't looking. Yours, befuddledly.